An Expensive Scare

So a few weeks back, I’m sitting on the toilet (as you do) and my arms went all tingly and my hands felt weak. I thought, well that’s a bit weird, but forgot about it. Then last Friday the exact same thing happened and this time, it freaked me out. I call the doctor, make an appointment and in I go – shitting myself about what it could be. I know that women have heart attacks differently to men, but surely it couldn’t be that, ‘cos I’m too young and haven’t gone through menopause?

Well it wasn’t ruled out, and a check of my heart, vital signs, and everything else was done. All clear, but we’d better get you in to see a Cardiologist to be sure. So my Saturday sleep-in was replaced with nearly two hours at a cardiologist’s office, checking my heart, doing the treadmill test, an ultrasound, etc… EVERYTHING was perfectly normal and I have a very strong heart. Phew.

The arm thing happens again on Sunday, so I go into the docs on Monday, they withdraw a liter or so of blood, and all sorts of tests are carried out. They didn’t call Tuesday, they didn’t call Wednesday, so I thought OK, I’ll call you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me – nothing at all. And only $2,000 later… it’s great to know it for sure.

So what the hell is going on? One potential is a pinched nerve somewhere in my body. That makes sense ‘cos I’m long overdue an osteo appointment and have one booked on Saturday. What else? Stress or over-excitement resulting in elevated CO₂ levels? I am working really hard, there’s a lot going on, I am still in the completely overwhelmed stage BUT in many ways, I’ve never felt more relaxed. Over-excitement? Well of course, that’s a constant in my life and I don’t want to change. But definitely a reminder to chill baby, chill.

However, as a result of all of these shenanigans, a few things raised their ugly head this last week. The first is facing one’s own mortality, which is connected to 2nd thing - the bloody aging process. The doctor has been divine, but it was due to my age that all of these other things had to happen, ‘cos I’m no longer a spring chicken in the medical professions’ eyes and they couldn’t rule anything out.

I have to admit, I bloody hate being poked and prodded by doctors. I hate it to the point I could very easily ignore what is going on within, rather than facing the poking and prodding. But I didn’t this time. I went in and faced up to it (thankfully getting great news at the end), so I consider myself a VERY good girl.

But it was a rather miserable five or so days to get through, although I think Steve had a much shittier time than me. It also made me even more committed to my “Fuck it Enough” crusade, because I just don’t want to spend anytime hanging around hospitals, unless absolutely necessary.

Who knows what the bloody hell is going on, because my body responds to all sorts of weird stuff going on in the cosmos, so I’m just glad it’s nothing significant to contend with right now.

Obviously, if anyone has any ideas – no matter how nuts – happy to hear? I remain forever open to all possibilities.

Yours, without the bollocks

Andrea