Hiring live-in help seems to have changed
A lovely new lady by the name of Vivi started
working as a live-in helper with our family recently. For many of my friends
around the world the idea is just weird. I understand. It was certainly weird
when we hired Vick back in 2007.
But living the life we live in Singapore requires
an extra set of hands. Singapore isn’t like Australia, the UK or other Western
countries. Professionals regularly have to travel for extended periods of time
– Steve’s on the road for weeks constantly at the moment! And while I don’t
currently travel as much as Steve, the working hours here are longer and
evening obligations more plentiful. When I was employed, it was rare for me to
be home before 7pm every night.
There is also no after-school care at our
boy’s schools in Singapore, and essentially, without a full-time live in
helper, we can’t do what we do. Not to mention, living in another country there
is no grandma or aunt down the road to step in when timing gets tight! It’s a
necessity.
While a lot of friends are not used to this
lifestyle and often think we’ve got it super easy having someone doing the
cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc… it really just opens up our time to work
longer hours.
There is definitely one benefit though.
Having everything taken care of on the home front means that when you do have
downtime, you spend it with your family. That’s one bit I really like.
Although
all of my downtime in the last few years has been about building my personal
brand so when the time was right, I was in a strong position to launch my
business. That is happening right now. I’ve launched
my business and it’s all cylinders firing.
But I couldn’t do it without backup. And
that brings me to the main topic of this little blog. We interviewed a handful
of ladies to replace our last helper, Aunty Jona. When I first interviewed for
helpers back in 2007 I found the whole interview process extremely painful.
I had no idea what to ask them to get a
sense of who they were, so I could know if they were right for our family. I
also got it wrong a lot. Really wrong. Some just aren’t a match, and it’s definitely
a case of luck.
In fact, when we hired Vick in 2007, the
main reason I was determined to hire her was because she was a smart arse and
took the piss out of Steve! The rest of the girls wouldn’t have dreamed of
doing that. They didn’t believe they ever could. The sense that they were powerless
broke my heart.
Besides that, I needed someone strong.
Powerful. In control. How could anyone handle the boys in my absence if they
didn’t have strength of character?
Vick was with us for six years and we hit
the jackpot with her. Amazing.
Since she left to go home to the
Philippines, it’s been hard to replace her. Our expectations are very high, and
that’s a challenge. We’ve had a few ladies come and go because they just didn’t
work out. However, the main thing I struggle with is lack of care. I know it’s
a job for these girls, but for me, it’s my family. It can’t be just a job.
It’s challenging, because how can I expect
anything else from them? That’s where Vick spoilt us.
This time around in the interviews, the
girls had more fire in their soul. There was one lady we both adored. She was
beautiful and serene (but too quiet for our lads), however when we asked what
her expectations were, she said one thing: “please don’t ever scold me.” Bless
her. As if we ever would.
Overall, on this round of interviews, I
found all of the girls more powerful. Some were interviewing because they were
unhappy with their current employers. You never used to see that. Most would
stay employed for years in unhappy situations because they thought they had no
choice.
Many still get terrified of not being able
to find a job, because they don’t want to be forced to go home. These ladies
sustain entire, extended families on their salaries, so staying employed is
critical.
As we interviewed more and more ladies,
always from the Philippines, I wondered if it is the economic boom their
country is experiencing that is making a difference. More opportunities to work
are opening up at home, and that means they may not have to stay away from their
families for years at a time, as they have been forced to do.
I didn’t grow up in a part of the world
where I needed to leave my children to earn money to help give them the best
opportunities for their future. A future based on a great education that opens
up different possibilities for their kids. Real opportunities.
I have to say it destroys me that so many
ladies around the world have to leave their kids behind to help raise other
people’s children. It’s why we work so hard to make sure the ladies who are
working for us earn good money and feel valued in their role. It’s super
important to us that they feel this way, because we value the role they have in
our lives.
They really are an amazing part of this
economy and the success of Singapore has been built off the back of these women
– as well as the men coming from developing countries to build this gorgeous city.
Check out this video on the construction of Singapore, if you haven't seen it.
All of this helper stuff is not easy for me. I struggle with the
need every single day, but then I know that we can’t live here without it.
The solace I take from this unbalanced
world is that these ladies are giving their kids a chance at a great education,
and that is what lifts countries out of poverty. I believe it is because of
what these ladies have sacrificed that the Philippines is taking the great
strides it is taking today. I hope they’re appreciated for it.
They are definitely giving up a lot. The
sort of sacrifice I could never make. Not being able to watch my kids grow up?
I am so lucky I was born in a part of the world where that wasn’t ever an option
I had to consider. The world is definitely not balanced. That doesn’t make me
happy.
I’m just pleased to see that the ladies we’ve
been meeting recently are feeling more empowered. It’s awesome and a big change
in the decade since we hired Vick.
Yours, without the bollocks
Andrea
Photo cleaning
equipment courtesy of Shutterstock.
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