The Chaos is Over Now – Right?
On this day last year I posted a blog – One More Year - in honour of my little man’s 6th b’day. So yes, you can safely conclude that today Jax is a very big boy of seven. He also seems to have woken up with the attitude to match – crikey! Even though Jax is the pain in the arse child who never puts his shoes away, drops his clothes where he takes them off, loses toys, dumps his school bag where I trip over it, leaves his scooter blocking the door, etc, etc, etc, I have to say, I bloody love this kid. I also admire him. He’s got balls.
However for me the journey of motherhood has largely been a whole lot of tediousness. I definitely adore them and wouldn’t be without them, plus we have had a LOT of fun as a family, but my word, the grinding days of emotional outbursts, chaos, mess, dangers, and arguments has been nothing short of fucking hard!
“When, exactly, does this get fun Steve?” has been a common question in our house, one which never has an answer.
In the early years, when the chaos emerged full force, I finally decided to be brave and ask other parents who might appreciate where I was coming from. However, the challenge in speaking about kids in anything but a bright and shiny way tends to put yourself at risk of a lecture - “it goes so fast” or “you’ll regret these days if you don’t enjoy them now.” I didn’t need to hear that, because I KNOW it. I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with screaming at the world sometimes too – because parenting is not always bright and shiny!
So I braved the question – with people who had the potential to be like-minded – and the good news (and consistent answer) was seven. Seven is the magic year. Seven is when the kids start pulling themselves together emotionally, get more mature generally, seek more independence, and just don’t rely on you so much anymore. I know it will hurt when they pull away (it’s already started), but at the same time I’m super cool about more space being there between us. It’s time. When people told me seven, it seemed like an eternity and I had absolutely no idea how I’d get through the years until we hit that magic number, but today, we’ve done it.
However Jax is already changing. Sure he can still argue with the best of them (which I expect will be a lifelong skill), but he’s now maturing and emerging into the little man he is destined to become. My greatest concern for Jax is that as he gets older, his incredible self-confidence will be challenged, and he will need to learn to soften it, or be accused of being arrogant. He’s definitely not arrogant, and that big loving heart of his will always shine through, but I can see this potentially coming up in his future – Steve and I are ready.
The other good thing he has on his side is a bloody wicked sense of humour. People who make people laugh always seem to get on better in this world and he is an absolute cack! His faces and accents are superb. I know he’s going to be better than great and I can’t wait to see what he does in this life. It’ll be different to his brother (I can see Lex being a war photographer or something adventurous) and I wouldn’t be surprised if Jax is a super successful businessman (marketing or sales) or an academic that wants to know everything he can about a topic he’s passionate about. The only thing I hope is passion is the driving force for his life. That’s all that matters.
So there you go, we did it. We made it through both of their first seven years and I hope this is it – fun, fun, fun all the way from now on, with a few emotional needs in the mix, because life is like that. Steve and I are just hoping on a bit more calmness now. It’s been super intense these last few years – mainly with Lex – so we’re ready to be those jolly parents that hang out in the background, cheering our kids on, but loving our own lives too.
Let’s see what happens.
Jax happy birthday my darling boy. You are an amazing little dude and I couldn’t love you more, even if you are a huge pain in my arse more often than not.
Yours, without the bollocks
PS: if you feel inclined to share with me the fact that the real chaos is only beginning, I politely request for you to put a sock in it. For today at least. Steve and I are feeling pretty good about this milestone....