Your Children are a Credit to You

For the first time EVER, our friend Felicia (who met our treasures for the first time on the weekend) said: “your children are a credit to you.” Yep, someone has said that. Out loud. And there were witnesses and everything.

Our reaction? Shock first. Then we looked at each other, wide-eyed and burst out laughing. Seriously? Our little buggers? You’re actually talking about those two guys, the boys over there sitting on top of the spa, eating chips and getting them everywhere, the ones about to throw rocks off the balcony if we don’t get there first, those two dudes working out in the outdoor gym – the gym exclusively for adults, those maniacs getting filthy, dropping the occasional F-bomb in a context they heard on a ‘children’s’ video on YouTube? Those two? Really?

The outdoor gym at a wedding - perfect distraction

Someone finally thinks they’re um… well... good! Well behaved even. AWESOME!! We couldn’t believe it, but secretly we’re both thrilled, because they are a credit to us. They’re awesome. Annoying pains in the arse absolutely. But they are completely awesome, and funny, so bloody funny. My word.

The challenge is we don’t want them to be “good.” I hate it when they say to me “but we just want to be good mum.” I always say: you are good mate, but sometimes you don’t make good decisions, that’s a different thing. There’s no good or bad darling. We all make bad decisions.

This good/bad malarkey doesn’t sit well with me at all.

But I really don’t want my boys to be good. I want them to be marvelous. Courageous. Ambitious in whatever way that emerges. Curious. Funny. Irreverent. Silly. Adventurous. Expressive. Emotionally intelligent. And a whole lot more. More than anything, though, I want them to be happy.

We had another little accolade this week. Lex came home with the pictured star, an award for being obedient. OBEDIENT? I look at Steve and recognize that at this moment, all this mother is required to do is give her son an enthusiastic high five for his achievement. But an award for obedience – yuk! I don’t like that at all.

My children ARE NOT obedient and good on them for that. I want them to challenge everything, especially me. I don’t have it all right, I don’t have all the answers, because no one does. So teachers, give my boys awards, but you can keep the obedient star in future OK?

Anyone with me here?

What’s the “worst” award you’ve seen, even if others think it’s a “good” thing?

Yours, without the bollocks

Andrea