How’s the single mothering malarkey going Andrea?

It’s great, so great. I love it when Steve is away for long periods of time, because I really get to relax, enjoying so much peace, solitude and silence you know. It's a self-pampering time...

Well except when we have three fire incidents in the boy’s bedroom. Lex!

He’s obsessed with fire and I get it. That’s why we bought a fire bin so they could burn stuff if they asked permission first and a parent accompanied them. That is the deal. Fire is cool when you’re a kid – well all know that.

But no, he doesn’t use the fire bin, because why would you when you can set things on fire in your bed? How do I handle it, after screaming obviously… I resort to showing him what a person looks like who has been burnt all over their body. He has NO idea of the danger he is playing with! Any suggestions?

Before that third fire incident in a week, Jax decided it was a good idea to throw rocks down two floors, infuriating some dude below that almost got cracked in the skull. The worst thing for Jax – that man being angry with him. Totally unreasonable strange man, bloody hell.

I didn’t dare show him a photo of what a rock in the skull from two floors looks like, because then my bedtime serenity would be disturbed by kids crying from bad dreams. I mean, I’m not stupid. But Jax!!

Or the night before that. Taking Jax out for a birthday dinner and because they’re so BORED waiting for their food, they’re either running atop empty beer barrels – I see a night in ER with broken bones at this point – or when that wasn’t good enough, they decide to climb up a ramp with a two story drop off the side. It was so peaceful and such an amazing dinner.

Seriously, when people criticize parent’s for bringing iPads out for dinner, THIS IS WHY PARENTS BRING IPADS OUT FOR DINNER! We’re trying to keep our kids alive.

What else, what else?

Another terrific moment was taking the boys to Ikea on a Sunday – great idea Andrea! But you know, sometimes you just really need to go to Ikea. It was so much fun watching the boys jump all over the carpets I was pondering, or jumping between mats and breaking the storage boxes while I was furiously trying to work out the numbering system of Ikea carpet storage – as logical as its printed instructions for me.

And the reason I was looking for a rug in Ikea? So our newest family member – Freddy, the Golden Retriever – doesn’t have bad hips. My doggy trainer told me that slipping and sliding on marble isn’t such a great thing for puppy development.

It was great bringing the carpet home, where Freddy promptly took a shit on it and later a piss. He LOVES it! Last count, six pisses. Awesome Freddy. My word that’s starting to stink and outside.

Here's a post cupcake photo - noice!

My fourth child – Steve – has needs to. He was away during Jax’s birthday and this weekend will be away when Jax heads off to KL for rugby with his coach/team alone. I’m a little anxious about our little guy heading off on an international trip, but Steve is devastated. He wants to be there and he wanted to be there for Jax’s birthday too. Of course he does. It’s shit missing stuff like that.

So I try to integrate Steve into our lives as best I can when he’s away – but more so this time – and my favourite integration was during the birthday cupcake baking session.

Picture this - a pretty trashed Steve (big night in Phoenix) on speaker phone in the kitchen, with flour, sugar, eggs, chocolate, you name it, flying everywhere, a dog trying to get in on the action, me trying to deliver instructions, electric beaters whirling, hot stuff, sloppy stuff, etc, etc, etc…

It was so peaceful and such a great call. I hope you loved it Steve?

I am not a single mum and you know who I admire? Single mums. Bloody hell women – how do you do it? I cannot even imagine facing this stuff alone. Not being able to share the anxiety load on your kid’s safety for a start, let alone just getting a break from your kids sometimes…. Yes, I admire single mums tremendously. Hats off ladies.

Right kids are back from school. Let the chaos continue.

Anyone else have some lovely experiences or memories to share? Oh go on, I need the laugh when I’m missing my love.

Yours, without the bollocks

Andrea

Playing with fire photo courtesy of Shutterstock. Other courtesy of my phone.

Thank you for reading my ramblings. My brain and heart are a work in progress, always. I’d love a comment if it stirred any thoughts or feelings and of course, please feel free to share it with anyone you know who might be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do. If you want to connect, I'm on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, and Facebook too. I share loads of stuff, not just my own xxxxx