The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin
The first book
I’ve read as part of my ‘Fuck it, Enough’ crusade is ‘The Happiness Project’ by
Gretchen Rubin.
I didn’t hear anything about it in advance, just saw it in a bookshop and
thought: this could be a goodie right now as I want to be happier. A New York
Times bestseller, I thought it was a “nice” book. Why do I only say nice – a
pretty pathetic platitude? Well Gretchen is a self-confessed happy and
unadventurous homebody who wanted to know if it was possible to be happier. She
has a good life, stable home, secure finances, good hubby, calm kids, and a
community of family and friends close by who support her. She willingly
confesses that life is good, she just wanted to see if it could be even better.
Fair enough.
My take-away - anyone
who wants to be a little bit happier could benefit from reading this book.
She’s done her research in most areas, and it’s jam packed full of reminders of
the simple things we can all do to be a little bit happier – such as changing
your mindset, don’t nag your spouse, put up happy memory charged things like
photos, clean your home, be organised, let go, etc… There is definitely more to
it than that, but overall, that’s what I took away – lots of good little tips I
can do to make my life happier – and I’m going to do some of them. For example,
being in temporary accommodation for more than two years, I don’t have any
photos up – me, I know!! But it’s more pathetic than that. I haven’t put up any
photos from the last two years, nor have I even printed our weddings photos
from 2005, a truly fantastic day – well 10 days really - in my life. So that
was a good reminder to get onto that.
However, if your
life is currently shit house, you’re going through massive change or
challenges, you’re dealing with a major illness, your spouse is a massive pain
in your arse, your kids are driving you to drink, your work is unsatisfying, your
income is not covering your costs, or worse you’re broke, your friends couldn’t
give a shit, your family couldn’t give a shit, etc, etc, etc… you may find it
all a bit trite? A couple of people I’ve spoken with who started reading and
didn’t finish it, can definitely vouch for it lacking in substance, and I agree
with them to an extent. However, I don’t think anything like this is ever
really bad, because sometimes reminders to do the small stuff are good too.
Two aspects irritated
me though. The first was the comparison between a New Yorker and a beggar on
the streets of Calcutta. Now Gretchen (who admits she is not adventurous) has never
met or spoken with people living on the streets of Calcutta (and perhaps not
even in NYC), and when interpreting her words, I took it that she thinks happiness
can be measured in the same way world-wide – which I certainly don’t agree with.
Maybe I misread it, but as an adventure-monkey who has spoken with (and been
deeply touched by) people on the streets of NYC and Calcutta, there can be
absolutely no comparison made between the two. Expectations for life in India are
very different at such a deep level – something that may change as India
evolves - but the very foundation of India’s religious beliefs is part of this
discussion too. A big topic, so just a little observation here, because it
annoyed me.
Secondly, she
does a month on spirituality and essentially interprets the essence of
Buddhism. She’s not wrong in what she writes, but having spent my life delving
into spiritual literature (for and against), and understanding it far beyond
the border of religion, I found it a bit weak. With that said, for people who’ve
never looked into this massive subject, it’s a nice introduction. But if you’ve
spent years trying to work out what it is and how you can integrate it into
your life in a way that is meaningful to who you are, there is not a lot of
substance. She never claims that it is going to be substantial, but I almost
wish she didn’t cover it in the book, because by touching on it so briefly, she trivialized it.
Anyway, just a
couple of observations and Gretchen, if you somehow read my blog (because
sometimes authors do comment on my blogs about their books), I know you take
criticism personally, which I really appreciate. I just want you to know I think
you’ve done a great thing for a lot of people, and I will certainly take on
board some of your learnings, but it didn’t blow me away and change my life. It’s
a worthwhile contribution, but I personally need something meatier you know?
Who else has read it and what did you think?
Yours, without
the bollocks
Andrea
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