I Stopped and then I STOPPED
This week has been my first week off after nearly two years at Microsoft in Asia. The two years was definitely an amazing journey - professionally and personally – however, during this time I worked at such a level of intensity that when the day came to just stop, I could hardly move.
The intensity levels were all my own making of course. I never go at anything half arsed and I don’t hang around waiting for instructions. It’s also not in me to just ‘get by’ – where’s the fun in that? – so the breathlessness of the journey is all on me. Hopefully, it also explains to many people dear to me why I’ve been so slow to respond to communication, and I’m still catching up. I’ll get there I promise.
Anyhoo this week I stopped and my word, I can hardly move. Naturally I haven’t been stationary – there’s too much to do – but waking up every morning for the boys has been really REALLY hard, especially with Steve away in Australia – he’s back today, yippee! However, once the boys are off to school, all day I’m pushing myself, but my eyes feel full of sand and my body beyond weary, with my bed beckoning to me “come, come.”
Even during my most intense and sleep deprived work times in the last couple of years, I can’t remember ever feeling this kind of tired. Well except before Christmas when I was so exhausted I was literally falling asleep standing up. The falling asleep standing up thing also happened after I got married – but it was fun getting that exhausted during such a crazy and wonderful time in my life.
Right now, I think my body is saying “right, that’s it, time to chill bitch.” The problem is I’m not a great chiller and I definitely could do better at it – which I know Steve would appreciate enormously! But my mind is always full of ideas and opportunities to pursue, so it’s just not in me to be stationary – sleep when you’re dead right? Being a busy minded person has its positives and negatives of course, but long ago I accepted it’s who I am. With that said, I know it does not make me the easiest person to be married to. Sorry love.
The good news is I haven’t gotten sick – which can happen right? I hope that continues during my next week off, because my home is starting to look better, I’m riding my bike every day, I’m enjoying spending more time with my boys, and next week Steve will be home so we can spend some time together AND of course, really go all out to celebrate Lex’s eighth birthday. Last year I was working 24 hours a day during his birthday and Steve was in Saudi Arabia. I can definitely tell you we’re thrilled to both be present 100 per cent for our little guy this year. Our absence was excruciatingly tough last year.
Right got work to do, so signing off, but please tell me, I’m not alone in the need-to-be-busy-at-all-times am I?
Yours, without the bollocks