And the Age of Chaos is Over

It’s our youngest sons – Jax - 8th birthday today. Eight! Where did the time go I hear you ask? Well we’ve lived every minute of it, so I can’t tell you it’s flashed by. Not at all. But it’s been a ride.

So our message to the Jaxster

Happy Birthday little man and we hope you feel suitably spoilt and special today. It’s kind of handy for you having a mum born on New Year’s Day, because I remember what it’s like to have a birthday at a time when it’s nothing but a blip in the minds of everyone as the post-Christmas lethargy sets in. You will always be special on your big day son - that’s a promise.

But we’re celebrating your big day for another reason as well – your Dad and I. Apparently, this is the end of the illogical, chaos years, otherwise known as childhood.

Those years when we can’t reason with you. When you cry at the drop of a hat. When everything you do is overshadowed by emotion and a lack of common sense. When you are random in your activities and illogical in your motives. When you still require us to do so many of the mundane things – dress you, tie your shoes, brush your teeth, entertain you, keep you focused or occupied, and on it goes.

It’s not that we’ve minded doing those things for you. Much of it has been a pleasure. But we’re nine years into this parenting malarkey (including your brother of course) and you know what, we’re ready to move on. Are you?

We feel like you are. You seem to have grown up so much in the last year, it’s mind blowing. You’re demanding your independence now and we love that mate! Go fly and be free son, but always remember the most important thing is to be confident, kind and respectful – that’s all we ask of you and we’re here to guide you if you want it.

Also now that you’ve had your tonsils and adenoids out, you might get better quality sleep and perhaps we’ll start seeing you accelerate at school like we know you can? That’d be nice love. Last year was a bit stressful for your old parents.

You are a firey one Jaxy! Boy you like an argument don’t you? Being right is important to you as well. You’re obstinate, argumentative, stubborn, pig-headed, dogged, tenacious, confrontational, contrary, adamant, determined… and yet research proves this is a good thing. This article ‘Your Stubborn Kid Will Probably Be A Wildly Successful Adult Says Science’ proves the point.

Hey Steve, let’s not worry about retirement savings. Jax will be rich enough to take care of us – awesome!

I have to say we feel like we’re living through a balancing act now. Trying to ensure you have enough space to develop your own voice, while helping you understand that the most important thing is to be kind and to listen to others. Let’s face it, being right doesn’t always feel good for you anyway – does it darls? Trust me, it’s true. Everyone has a view, listen to them.

But we’re not worried about you mate. You’re growing up, working out who you are, finding your voice, discovering your passions, uncovering your humour, and experimenting at this great game called life. It’s pretty fascinating watching you on this growing-up journey I must say.

We both picture you, walking out the door about a decade from now, all six foot three of you, probably with heaving muscles, and the people you give your heart to are going to be very lucky indeed. You’re certainly a lover my sweet one.

The truth is you’re soft and sensitive, although most people don’t see this side of you. Don’t worry, we know it darling. We’re here to help with the pain in your heart when you need it mate. We understand what that feels like.

Jax we just want you to know that we think you’re a special fella. A total pain in the arse for sure, but we’re at the end of the chaos years now, so happy birthday to my darling boy, and welcome back to sanity for Steve and I (please let it be true). What a ride!

Yours, without the bollocks
Andrea




PS: If anyone would like to blow my bubble on the chaos years not being over, right now, please feel free to go and get stuffed!

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