Let me womansplain what being grabbed on the pussy feels like
It’s a fascinating time to be alive, but equally, it’s an exhausting time – especially this year. The hatred and division coming up in the world concerns me on such a deep level and I often feel exhausted by it. It leaves me without hope for the future of our planet.
Hatred and division have existed throughout human history, and while we move forward as a species after-the-fact when it hits boiling point – usually becoming better and more cohesive societies - the fact that we are now living through a time likes this makes me despondent, mainly for our kids.
But women and respect for women has been a big part of the discussion in recent times, not just because we have the first female running for US President, but because her opponent is a complete and utter dirt bag. #DonaldTrumpReallyisanAsshole.
Donald’s recent sexual harassment video has obviously been part of the narrative in recent weeks, however the thing that’s fascinated me more, is not the women coming out (brave ladies, 12th today) suggesting his comments were not just talk, but the men telling us what is and what is not sexual harassment.
Of course, Donald claimed it was just “locker room talk,” and even if it was just talk, it’s not locker room talk – as many men who’ve actually spent time in a locker room have attested to. However, it is the action of grabbing a woman’s pussy that has been put to question.
According to some men (and alarmingly, some women), did you know that having your “pussy grabbed” by an entitled man isn’t, in fact, sexual harassment?
I had my pussy grabbed once.
It was back in 1992 when I was I’m wandering through Cairo’s famous archaeology museum, checking out the wonders of the ancient world. It was brilliant and I was enraptured. Then, out of the blue, this young man walks up and grabs me right on the snatch. Now I’d been in Egypt and the Middle East for a while by this point, where EVERY SINGLE DAY men worked very hard to grab my tits and arse, but this was the first time one went straight for the vag.
What happened next? A feeling of overwhelming revulsion went through my entire body. It was the most violated I had ever felt in my life (I have not been raped, attempted but never succeeded) and a rage exploded that surprised even me. I’ve never been angrier and I punched this guy so hard in the chest, he was literally lifted off his feet and smacked into the wall a couple of feet behind him.
I was in the army then. I was young. I was strong. And I was really really fucking angry.
I lunged for him then and he got up and ran away so fast, with a look of unbelievable fear in his eyes, that I couldn’t catch up to keep going. Because I was definitely going to keep going. Fucker!! But this reaction surprised me. Me? A pacifist. Someone who could never imagine what it would take to hit anyone and yet, there I was.
So I screamed after him: “yeah you run you fucken coward. You run away pathetic fucking man.”
The other guests in the museum edged away from me rather quickly after that. I looked like a mad bitch for sure. Definitely a nasty woman!
I was shaking with anger for ages afterwards. No one had ever done that to me before and I cannot describe exactly how it made me feel. One thing I do know is that it was sexual assault. That is not a part of the body anyone has the right to grab without permission.
I had lots of other experiences travelling alone as a young, single female back then. Another guy tried to rape me in a tomb – I kicked the shit out of him. And another chased me through a cemetery with his dick in his hand. Ugly things penises. Nether succeeded. But it was the twat grab that had the biggest impact. Such a violation!
I haven’t been raped – as I said – but if being grabbed on the mouey feels like this, then I can only imagine how much deeper that anger and revulsion goes when one is raped. Sexual violence against women, or men, is never ever ok. Ever.
And the pathetic men that do it? Alpha males? Bollocks.
All the great men I’ve known and met throughout my life – who actually are alpha males - never feel so inadequate they feel the need to dominate women in anyway – especially sexually.
I thought 25 Characteristics of an Alpha Male is more of an indication of what one actually is. Point 25 was the best point….
25. The alpha male doesn’t try to be an alpha male. That’s where so many fail. He is interested in life, in living. He’s fascinated by the world around him, in becoming the best man he can possibly become. He genuinely cares about people.
That, to me, is what makes a man an alpha male.
WiseGeek published this article, which I believe gets closer to the truth of the heritage of the term, because it’s not just applied to humans, but to animals as well.
Because those other men - the weak cretins who think dominating anyone is what it means to be a man? They’re not alpha males. They’d struggle to be considered a beta male!
Because the vast majority of humanity has evolved beyond those animalistic traits, and unfortunately, we still have a large percentage of men around the world who haven’t moved forward with us. Those particular men, though, should never, ever be given a place of authority, especially not as President of the United States.
A man who seeks to dominate, sexually harass women, encourage hatred of others, or create division in society… That’s not a man. They’re not even as good as the animals. They’re just carrying some genetic heritage that needs to be eradicated, because the world has changed. We have changed. The wannabe alpha males need to go away and leave the rest of us in peace.
To anyone who thinks grabbing a woman’s love tunnel is not sexual harassment, let me just tell you, it is. It’s fucking revolting. Ugh!
So boys and girls, anyone want to share their story?
Yours, without the bollocks
Photo close up of a woman body with flower on her pubes courtesy of Shutterstock.